


Days Like These

by Archadian_Skies



Category: Kuroshitsuji | Black Butler
Genre: Gen, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-07-15
Updated: 2013-07-15
Packaged: 2017-12-20 06:18:23
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 498
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/883926
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Archadian_Skies/pseuds/Archadian_Skies
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Alan didn’t want hope, he wanted an end and he wanted it on his terms and not Eric’s and certainly not theirs. He knew hope should have comforted him, should have felt like a friend in the darkest of days but hope wasn’t that at all. Not friend, but foe; a bastard, a liar, a cheat and a tease.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Days Like These

They had celebrated the turn of the year at the pub getting so drunk Eric had to carry him home. On the last day of the year Eric had to carry him into the hospital.

It was routine now, and the hospital suite seemed as familiar as home; gradually his things had been moved to give the sterile room a sense of comfort.

To his side, Eric was sprawled on his stomach and snoring loudly; he’d returned from a string of Reaps to find Alan collapsed in the cloakroom unable to breathe.

Alan looked at the IV drip and noted it was still half full. Yet another concoction for him to try, another cocktail of drugs supposedly better than the last but just as nauseating. This one will be better, they tell him, this time we’ve got it right. Keep your chin up, Humphries, there’s hope for you yet!

Hope: the very word added to his nausea, and tasted bitter on the tongue and was prickly to swallow. Alan wanted to scream at them that he didn’t want hope, he wanted an end and he wanted it on his terms and not Eric’s and certainly not theirs. He knew hope should have comforted him, should have felt like a friend in the darkest of days but hope wasn’t that at all. Not friend, but foe; a bastard, a liar, a cheat and a tease.

It had no place in his life anymore; Alan knew what lay ahead and he was grateful for it. An end to his suffering was not too much to ask for, was it? But every time the medical team informed him and Eric that hope remained, the weight on his shoulders grew heavier.

Easing out of bed, Alan carefully wheeled the IV tower alongside as he made his way to the window. Outside the crowds gathered to ring in the New Year and soon London’s night sky would be lit up with fireworks.

Alan touched the needle inserted into the back of his hand. A part of him wanted to tear it out and watch as the precious medication dripped onto the floor. A part of him was far too scared to do so; he had fought for so long that all he knew was the fight.

Gripping the cord on the blinds instead, he made to shut them before a burst of light interrupted him. Golds, reds, blues, greens, even purples and whites exploded in a flurry of sparks and lit London with revelry.

He fell to his knees and found himself crying from the bitterness of it all. The turn of the year spent in a frustratingly familiar hospital room rather than the floor of their favourite pub with Ronald making an arse of himself and Grell falling asleep on him and William buying them the last round.

“We made it.” Eric pulled him into his arms, murmuring into his hair as he rubbed his back. “There’s hope for another year, eh?”


End file.
